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Archive for April, 2010

So we are getting a good rain πŸ™‚ I wanted to go walking this morning, but it had already started raining by the time we got to the street! lol

The bright side is I don’t have to water my plants today, and it will make the ground easier to work with when I am working on our yard. I want to put in some more plants and try to get some grass in the yard since we have mostly weeds πŸ™‚ Our neighbor actually planted some grass seed (properly! πŸ˜› ) and I am impress with how fast it grew. I am hoping I can do the same thing in the backyard….I will probably have to do it in sections so the kids will keep off of it until its established.

As far as the flowers and other things, we have a huge garden area…I have to do little by little. I have this vision in my head of what this garden might have looked like years ago, and while I know it will take years to get it that way, its a soothing process. I am trying to maintain a path, so the gas meter reader fella’s can get to the meter easier, and trying to plant stuff so they quit hopping the fence in the same area (its breaking down in the corners!), but I think he might have stepped on one of the plants anyway LOL I teased the elderly lady that lives behind us, that I might have to plant something spiky in those areas to really get them to stop! πŸ˜›

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This weekend my ex-mother-in-law finally gave us my (now deceased) ex-husband’s extensive collection of sports cards. He had wanted J to have them at some point, and that’s great. A few issues I am having though, are:

1.) they are mostly thrown into an old beat up trunk, and it is quite full

2.) they are not at all organized

3.) Its a little more emotional than I anticipated.

We are trying to at least get them into some sturdy plastic bins and stack them (instead of just throwing them in there) until we can figure out what to do with them. As I am stacking them, all I can see is the money that could have been used to pay rent or for food or some other need at the time they were bought.Β  You see, my ex (who suffered from mental illness) would go to the store as soon as he cashed his checks and buy decks of these cards before any bills were taken care of. There were plenty of times, that we had very little to buy necessities with.

Ugh. I know I probably shouldn’t feel that way over cards. So now to figure out what to do. I can’t see letting my son keep ALL of the cards. Hubby and I talked about organizing them as much as we can , saving some to give to him, and selling the rest, putting the money into a savings account or something for him. I want to try to be sensitive to how J might feel later on, if we were to sell part of them…so I have some prayin’ to do over it for now. Time to get back to straightening them out πŸ˜›

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Busy week!

When is it not busy? LOL! Saturday alone will be stretching me a bit : VBS meeting, then Mother Daughter Luncheon, then a good friend’s wedding reception!Β  Should be a day full of fun…and just maybe I will find some time to rest πŸ™‚

My son really enjoyed his birthday surprise, a concert πŸ™‚ We ran into some teens from church, and we sat near them…they even let him sit with them (so he didn’t have to sit by Mom and Dad…lol). I know it meant a lot to him to be included by the guys. I let him pick out a t-shirt, and he chose one from The David Crowder Band πŸ™‚ I may be starting to get old, but I was quite relieved when he said that DCB was his fave…I was concerned for a second that he would take a liking to Family Force 5 (great music, just a little on the loud side!)

The retreat this past weekend was awesome! I really enjoyed the main sessions, and workshops. Three of the workshops I attended were ones on marriage, and I cannot tell you how blessed I was (and am) by them. I even bought the cds so I could re-listen to the message. A lot of the info was on communication, which I assumed I knew a lot about…but God really spoke to my heart especially with the issues I have πŸ™‚ Anyway, I highly recommend the Women’s Retreat at Ozark Christian College. Next year’s retreat will be April 15 &16, 2011. Typically there is no cost for the retreat, just for the banquet on Friday night and costs for food and lodging. We actually left home on Thursday and had some free time that day…it also saved us from having to get up at the crack of dawn to make it to Joplin in time for the start of the retreat! lol

Something else that has been on my mind, is choosing how we treat others. Its so easy to get caught up in our little group of friends, that we fail to see when someone is lonely or feeling left out.Β  I would love to say that we all outgrow things like cliques, but sometimes they happen without us really realizing it. Anyway, sometimes we make assumptions about someone, or we don’t feel comfortable around them….or maybe it takes a little time to get used to them πŸ™‚Β  One of the things I want to start doing, is reaching out to those people, and at least saying “hi”…that’s a huge thing for me! I struggle with shyness and would rather sit back and just watch people…but I have struggled with fitting in and loneliness. I know that there is only One who can fill that loneliness. I still struggle with those things, but with God, there is hope, and He carries my burdens. I think it is only recently (past couple of years) that I started to see that God is enough in everything. Even if I have no one else, I have Him.Β  Now I don’t always feel that way, but I KNOW it, if that makes any sense… When I let go, He provided new friendships, and opened my eyes to the ones that were right in front of my face! πŸ™‚

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Tomorrow my oldest son turns 12!Β  I can hardly believe it has been that long, at the same time it seems like forever ago that I had him!

Over 12 yrs ago, I got the news that I was pregnant. I was 18, with dreams and aspirations of going to college and becoming a special ed teacher. I was to be a roommates with my best friend, and we were going to decorate our dorm with our groovy thrift store finds. It was news that changed my life. Instantly, I started bawling. I think it was about 2 weeks before I could even think straight. To be honest, I didn’t know what to do. I was living with my then boyfriend (whom I married a few months later) who was mentally ill (but I didn’t know it at the time) and he could not keep a job…I had his parents telling me what a horrible person I was for doing this to their son. I was suffering from some serious depression, all while in wonder of the life inside of me.

Then, on April 15th, 1998, at 2:10pm (and Jerry Springer just happened to be on tv during the time) J arrived in my life, just in time. I was scared…no terrified of what lay ahead.I didn’t feel that instant connection to my baby. But as time went on, and I grew older, I see what God has done with J. He was the gift that helped save my life. From the moment, I learned that I was carrying him, I stopped doing things that would have destroyed my life. God weeded out some destructive relationships…and J gave me something to live for when I didn’t want to go on any longer…and I am so thankful for that!

J as a baby

J, about 1 yr old

J at age 5 or 6

J 1 1/2 to 2 yrs ago?

I messed up a lot along the way (and still am lol) but I am so amazed at the boy (ahem, young man) he is and the man will be!

J Oct 2009

To celebrate his birthday, we are taking him to his first concert πŸ™‚ SHHHH! don’t tell him:) its a surprise!

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Its been an eventful week. On Saturday, we took a day trip to the Wichita Mountain Wildlife Refuge in Lawton, OK. It was a great time with the family! I highly recommend it, as all the kids enjoyed it and it was free. We took a picnic lunch to save money. Here are some pics :

a view from Mt. Scott

Wild buffalo that crossed in front of our van

our hike

Some cactus we saw on the hike

A dam at one of the lakes that we had to cross to get to the trail

picture taken from our van driving through the refuge

our children hiking

The raccoon wanted some lunch too!

Other things :

relating to my headcovering…went to Bible study without it, and have spent much of my time the past few days with out it. To be honest, it feels nice not to have it on, and I feel more of myself.Β  I used to hide behind my covering, and used it as an excuse for all sorts of things. I really get a sense that this is where I am supposed to be for now…I have no clue where God will lead later on (whether it be headcovering or not), but I have a peace about my decision to take a break from it. I really appreciate all the words of support and understanding that I have received so far from all my readers and friends πŸ™‚

Ooh, something I think I forgot in my last blog post…I started Weight Watchers about 5 weeks ago! I have lost a little over 7 lbs in those 5 weeks, and have lost 12 total since January. I am starting to feel much better energy-wise and emotionally as well. I have not felt as “down” and moody as I usually am, and am veryΒ  thankful πŸ™‚ I am praying that God will continue to strengthen me, and that I will stick with this! πŸ™‚ Hubby has lost quite a bit as well, since he is doing WW also.

Anyway, gotta go for now!

God Bless! πŸ™‚

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Ok, so its been a while. Once again I am wasting too much time, and not getting enough done. I am thinking an extend vacation from Facebook will be in my future (at least from most of the games….).

Anyway, as to all the stuff that has kept me busy :

Been trying to get my yard in order. Hubby does very little yard work, being as he is so busy with work and school, not to mention his back problems. If I (with the children’s help) can get the yard picked up (sticks and junk) then my oldest son can do most of the mowing. I have a lot of grass in my flowerbeds, and will have to dig it out. I did get some flowers, strawberries and herbs planted. I need to pick up some more in the next few days πŸ™‚

Church has been busy too! We had a bake sale to benefit the local kids camp (great success!) and oodles of stuff between now and the next couple of months!

We are also planning our vacation to Florida…can’t wait to go to the beach!

Ok…now for the reflecting part. The past few days, I have had some stuff on my mind, and I am praying as to a direction. I am going to be open here, with the risk that some might rude about it (those comments will not get approved…fair warning). I have been thinking about taking a break from headcovering. Not because of harassment, or being uncomfortable with it…but its become something that is a habit, I don’t really think about it, and I am sure it goes deeper than that. I am still in the process of deciding exactly what to do…all I know is that I need to pray and discuss with hubby. Fortunately, he supports me no matter what…and I have a pretty good feeling he would rather be uncovered at this time. I might remain covered at church functions, at least until I decide what to do. Oh, and NO one has pressured me to take it off.

Now with that addressed, here is how it will or will not affect my Blog and my life :
1. I will still be 100% supportive of headcovering…all links will remain up.
2. I will be and still am committed to modesty. That will not change. I am still wearing skirts, and modest tops, etc. I have no desire to make-up and excessive jewelry.
3. I am NOT drifting away from God.

So there it is. I will have to post more as God fills me in. But this is what is going on right now. πŸ™‚

Well, got to go work out in that garden of mine! Have a blessed day!

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