It’s been somewhat of a roller coaster week for me, and I am so thankful for the peace our Father has given me through all of this. There is something truly amazing about holding on to Him as I walk this path. I wasn’t even going to blog on this, but I feel that there is someone out there who needed to “hear” this post for whatever reason.
It all started with a simple FB post that I shared from Youversion on Thursday morning : Jeremiah 32:27 “Behold, I am the Lord, the God of all flesh. Is anything too hard for me?” While that verse stuck out to me, I really didn’t put much weight on it at that moment. A couple of hours later I got a VERY unexpected phone call about a position I had applied for months ago. I sat in awe the rest of the day, truly amazed that they even wanted to speak to me after all this time! Ever since then I have had a peace about anything surrounding it.
The next day, I find out very unexpectedly that I did not get the position that I had been hoping for. I am pretty sure the preceding days’ events have cushioned what could have been emotionally devastating for me. But yet a peace remains…
Over these past few days I have been processing all these things and conversations had with various people in leadership. It would be easy to fall into the trap so many of us working folks find ourselves in. The easy thing would for me to be angry and to lash out. It would be easy for me to shun the new person or pull away and stop serving. I could also throw a fit because maybe I thought I deserved it, that I was entitled to it. But God has not called me to an easy path. He has called me to leadership, and that means leading even when faced with the not so easy stuff. I won’t lie and say I have not felt disappointment, but I have a choice in how I handle this situation.
The fact is I have been called to ministry. This is a very difficult and emotionally draining “profession”. I have to trust that God will put me in the positions He wants me in when He wants to. I am choosing to let Him determine when I am ready. I can claim no worldly qualifications, but I have only one qualification: What God has done and is doing in me. If He sees me fit for this other position, then I know He will open the door. If not, then I will continue to let Him prepare me even more for the work He has for me. I have even come to the place where I am praying that God will close that door, if that is not where I am supposed to be…and that is tough!
In closing, also want to say this, especially to those who are watching for my reaction to this situation: I am trusting in the process and the leadership God has placed me under. I am not angry, and am still committed to the service God has me in at my campus and my job (until He calls me elsewhere). I know God has placed the right person in the position I wanted, and He will place the right person in this other position, whether that be me or someone else. I can’t wait to see what God does through all of this, and even if it hurt a little, it was all worth it. And here I am left with the verse above…wondering what big thing He is working out 🙂